Response to “Taking Nat At His Word”

“Taking Nat At His Word”

LISTENING TO YOU READ THAT BLOG, I AM FLOODED BY EMOTION. FIRST, I WANT TO SAY TO NAT, MY BROTHER, IS THAT I HEAR YOU IN ALL YOUR VARIED WAYS.

I USED TO ALSO SHOW MY EMOTIONS IN ALL SORTS OF WAYS. LIKE LAST NIGHT, WHEN NETFLIX WOULDN’T WORK, AND WE COULDN’T WATCH THE LAST EPISODE OF STRANGER THINGS. IF I COULD HAVE, I WOULD HAVE THROWN THE TV OUT THE WINDOW! AND YOU CALLED IT WHAT IT WAS: A MELTDOWN. AND SPOKE TO ME FROM YOUR SOUL TO CALM ME DOWN. I BELIEVE THAT BECAUSE I CAN COMMUNICATE THROUGH THE LETTERBOARD, I NOW HAVE A MEANS TO GET MY NEEDS MET.

THE PART THAT STICKS OUT FOR ME IS THAT NAT DOESN’T HAVE THAT LUXURY. WHEN I SAY STUFF, I TAKE SNIPPETS OF THINGS I HAVE HEARD AND REPEAT THEM. OFTEN THEY AREN’T FUNCTIONAL, BUT BRING ME COMFORT. I IDEALIZE THE LETTERBOARD BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS AND DREAMS WITH YOU AND OTHERS. IT MAKES IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO BE IN SCHOOL WITH OTHER KIDS MY AGE.

I’M NOT SAYING THAT NAT’S MOTHER IS WRONG – AFTER ALL, SHE KNOWS HIM BEST. BUT MY HEART BREAKS A LITTLE FOR MY BROTHER WHO DESERVES TO BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE ON HIS OWN.

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Disability and Pornography

I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY THOUGHTS ON WHY PORNOGRAPHY IS A BENEFIT TO SOCIETY. FOR THIS TO BE PORTRAYED, I WOULD LIKE YOU TO ENVISION WHAT IT IS LIKE TO BE A PERSON WITH A DISABILITY. YOU HAVE MANY CHALLENGES, AND WORST OF ALL, NO ONE FINDS YOU ATTRACTIVE. AS A PERSON WITH A DISABILITY, YOU ARE DENIED THE APPEARANCE OF HAVING SEXUAL FEELINGS OR DESIRING ANOTHER PERSON. ALL YOU CAN DO IS USE WHAT IS THAT YOUR DISPOSAL – THE INTERNET. AFTER ALL, IT’S AVAILABLE TO EVERYONE, AND IS CONSTANTLY CHANGING AND EXPANDING. IF YOU IMAGINE WHAT THAT WOULD BE LIKE AND FOUND IT LACKING, THEN YOU WOULD NO DOUBT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM IN SUPPORT OF PORN.

FOR EXAMPLE, RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES ARE AT MUCH HIGHER RISK OF BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED IN THEIR LIFETIMES THAN NON-DISABLED PEOPLE. IT COMES FROM OUR SOCIETY’S VIEW THAT PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES ARE HELPLESS AND DON’T KNOW ANY DIFFERENT. IT ALSO COMES FROM AN ABLEIST ATTITUDE OF THEM BEING LESS DESERVING OF THE THINGS OTHERS TAKE FOR GRANTED. I WOULD ARGUE THAT PORN COULD TEACH PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES ABOUT CONSENT AND WHEN SEX IS HEALTHY, SO THAT THEY CAN BE MORE EMPOWERED ABOUT EXPLORING THEIR SEXUAL SELVES.

GETTING ACCESS TO THIS KIND OF CONTENT IS IMPORTANT, AND SHOULD BE PART OF SOME SEX ED CURRICULUM. A LOT OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES DON’T EVEN HAVE ACCESS TO THE MOST BASIC SEX ED AT SCHOOL, AND THAT IS WRONG. ALL OF THEM ARE HUMANS WITH BASIC NEEDS LIKE EVERYONE HAS: TO BE LOVED, TO BE TOUCHED, TO EXPERIENCE THE DEEP CONNECTIONS THAT FUEL LOVE SONGS.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THESE DREAMS ARE BEING PORTRAYED IN CERTAIN REALMS OF ALT-PORN. THERE IS A PORN STAR WITH CEREBRAL PALSY WHO HAS BEEN INTERVIEWED ABOUT HIS EXPERIENCE. HE SAID IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST POSITIVE EXPERIENCES IN HIS LIFE BECAUSE IT HELPED HIM ACCEPT HIS BODY AND REPRESENT PEOPLE WITH DIFFERENT BODIES AND EXPERIENCES. REPRESENTATION IS UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST TELLING REASON FOR SUPPORTING PORN. THIS CAN LOOK DIFFERENTLY FOR MANY PEOPLE, BUT THE MAIN GIST IS JUST SHOWING PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES ENJOYING THEMSELVES SEXUALLY AND BEING FOUND ATTRACTIVE TO PEOPLE WITHOUT DISABILITIES.

WHAT MAKES PORN ACCESSIBLE TO SOME BUT NOT OTHERS? REALLY, IT IS AN ISSUE OF ONE’S MOTOR SKILLS AND ABILITY TO HAVE ONE’S BODY ACCESSIBLE. THOSE CAN BE HUGE BARRIERS FOR MANY PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES. IN THESE CASES, PARENTS AND EDUCATORS SHOULD CONSIDER HAVING PART OF THEIR CURRICULUM COVER OPTIONS FOR THESE YOUNG PEOPLE. AFTER ALL, EVEN STEPHEN HAWKINS ENJOYS THE OCCASIONAL STRIP CLUB!

IN ADDITION, SOME PORN SITES HAVE BEGUN ADDING CLOSED CAPTIONING FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED PEOPLE. OTHERS ARE INCLUDING MORE PEOPLE WHO HAVE NON-TRADITIONAL BODIES AND ABILITIES TO THEIR OFFERINGS. BY HAVING BETTER REPRESENTATION, THEY ARE CREATING A NEW NORMAL THAT IS MORE INCLUSIVE AND REALISTIC.

IN CONCLUSION, HAVING PORN AVAILABLE IS ONE WAY OF SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES, AND IT HELPS NORMALIZE THEIR SEXUALITY. WHILE THERE WAS A LOT – A LOT – OF STEREOTYPICAL PORN OUT THERE, THERE ARE DIRECTORS WHO SEEK TO REPRESENT THE SEX LIVES OF PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES ACCURATELY AND RESPECTFULLY. BY SUPPORTING THEIR WORK FINANCIALLY, WE CAN CHANGE THE WAY DISABILITY IS VIEWED BY NON-DISABLED PEOPLE.